Grief in the Time of COVID-19
Restrictions on large group formations.
Restrictions on travel.
Restrictions.
Restrictions.
Restrictions.
What happens if during this time of uncertainty a family experiences the loss of a loved one? While it may not be the case for all, for most people, an integral part of mourning includes a farewell ceremony, a time when they can get together with family and friends and reminisce about their loved one. It is often a time to hear stories of their youth, to recount the good times, to receive kind words and wishes, to feel the embrace of sympathy and love and to begin to come to terms with their new reality.
So what are we, as grievers and sympathizers, to do when all of that is out of reach?
1. Livestream. If there is a farewell ceremony, see if it can be live-streamed for those unable to attend to say their farewell in person. It may offer a sense of closure, as well as a sense of comradery for all involved.
2. Emote. Cry, scream, yell, sleep. If you are planning a ceremony, albeit small, that will keep you busy as well. Some find that staying busy helps to get them out of bed, giving them a sense of purpose. Share memories, laugh and remember that though all may seem bleak, your loved one would not want you to wallow for too long. It is perfectly okay to take this time for YOURSELF, it is not being selfish. It is imperative to make sure that despite all, you institute some type of self-preservation practice; grief can cause your stress levels to rise and your immunity to falter.
3. Touchbase. Reach out to the family in mourning. Call, text, send a card. Don’t be offended if calls and texts are not responded to immediately, instead, understand that this is a confusing, difficult, exhausting and busy time for the family. In some instances, the passing of a loved one can come after days, months, or even years of providing caregiver support; so entering this new phase of life can see hours of tiredness compounding all at once, leaving the family member feeling drained.
4. Memorials. Plan a memorial for a later date. This can be done if the family chooses and when they choose. It can be a time for those who were unable to come together for the farewell ceremony to finally be in one place and to share in the celebration of their loved one’s life. It doesn’t need to be big or expensive, it can be as small as an intimate family dinner. It can be a potluck. It can be a cookout. It can be whatever the family deems appropriate. It can be a one-time event or an annual event. It is whatever the family needs to experience some semblance of closure.
5. Nothing. As a griever, you are allowed to grieve in a manner that best fits YOU. Do not feel obligated to make others happy if it makes you uncomfortable.
This is a reflective period for many people, and if anything comes from it, hopefully, it will be more compassion, selflessness, and love.
This list is nowhere near inclusive of all that can be done during this time, but it is hopefully a start for those seeking insight. If you have any suggestions feel free to add them in the comment section.
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Dedicated to Aunty Pam.